“Heavy dreams are for toting around”

Mighty long shifts are for working
Heavy dreams are for toting around
Let’s pretend there’s a place to go
Where I can lay this hacksaw down.

Zack Bryan, “Quiet Heavy Dreams”

This lyric gives some language to my feelings as of late. The past couple of years (not just the pandemic, but life itself) has been a mighty long shift. We have these dreams that we keep thinking we can get to at the imaginary end of the shift we are all caught up in. We carry them with us. We keep thinking that our shifts will be over, and we can work on these dreams and to work out our grief.

But we know that the shift doesn’t end for a while. This pandemic is our reality, and, while there is probably an end, we have to stop assuming all our dreams and grief can wait for it.

Maybe I’ll have more to say later, but really, I’ve been in a place of acknowledging grief, anger, and how that can help me to do the work of equipping and supporting people in ministry as we navigate a perpetual grief.

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